Tuesday, June 19, 2007

In which my OCD comes out full force

The test is hard to see--I couldn't get the flash to not obscure the window and then if I didn't use the flash it was just a white and purple blur. Oh well, you can see the plus sign in this pic if you look REALLY CLOSE. (Don't criticize my grammar. I'm pregnant)

This whole pregnancy thing hasn't really hit me yet. I think, like my friend Dalena, I won't TRULY believe it until I see an ultrasound. Unfortunately, that won't be until July 19th at my first doctor's appointment. In the meantime, I remind myself by avoiding coffee, giving in to the total lethargy that I feel by about 4 pm, and checking the pee stick every hour or two to make sure it wasn't all in my mind. Instead of wondering if I'm pregnant, will ever be pregnant, what it feels like to be pregnant... I now wonder about ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, whether it was a false positive and I'm all excited over nothing.

Furthermore, pregnancy is bittersweet right now... I dearly wish my sistertwinfriend DangerElf had been able to meet her miracle and I have a dear friend who has been trying to get pregnant for several months to no avail. I know both of these extraordinary women are happy for us, but at the same time, saddened by the fact that it couldn't have been different -- that they were able to join me or me them in this little "pregnancy club". At the same time, both my older sister and sister-in-law are pregnant right now, which brings all kinds of fun to us and stress to our poor parents and siblings who are trying to plan visits to ALL THE BABIES! GROWN AND NEW! in a very short span of time that also includes the entire holiday season (we're due in October, January, and February, respectively).

For now, I've put a curb on buying things. Except that book on pregnancy, 'cause I NEEDED it. And the prenatal vitamins, 'cause the doctor TOLD me too. However, I have not put a damper on the sorting through of what I have already. Not the baby stuff so much (I have a few things I've gathered along the way), but the maternity clothes. My sister sent me 1 40 gallon and 1 15 gallon rubbermaid tub full of maternity clothes. I went through them last night, and found some things that aren't actually maternity, but fit well on my bloated self right now. DangerElf was thinner than I at the onset of her pregnancies, so I fear many of the clothes will not fit as I expand in all directions at once (I have this mental image of myself just blowing up like a pufferfish). We'll see. It was fun to go through them; a loose and flowy 100% cotton tank top nighty has become my new best friend. Its 10:30 am and I still don't wanna take it off, its that comfy! (Of course, all my clothes that fit just got put in the dryer, but that's beside the point)

In closing, we have decided that whether or not we intend to actually consider them all (Danger! weird and wild names ahead!), we're adding names to the list every day between now and early October when we receive the gender answer.

Can you guess who contributed which names to yesterday's list?

Girl: Gabriella, Adairia, Jade, Ella, Ava, Brenna
Boy: Jaden, Alistaire, Grayson, Lockerby

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