"Family is who you love, not necessarily who you share genes with.... more like, who you share JEANS with."
"I asked him if he was a refrigerator and he said 'No, there isn't a light that turns on when you open me'. After a pause he added, 'But I do have a water filtration system'!"
On seeing the kid who rocks out with a Little Caesar's Pizza cardboard placard on the corner of Park and Mt. Moriah.... "We should do a video of what drivers see and hear and then of what HE sees and hears from this corner. It'd be like... car noises and then Alice Cooper!"
"My oil painting class was fun once we got to paint, but the teacher babbled on about how paint was made for an HOUR. I was so bored I drew designs all over my hands and wrists."